You press your finger to the paper where a checkbox should be. Against the white of the page, a black check-mark appears, confirming your non-demony status.

Whether the paper is enchanted to detect demonic presences, or simply works on an honour-system and relies on a demon not lying, you're not sure. It's almost as if Sam Hain can read the expression on your face - or maybe he's reading the same words you are - as he answers.

"Demons can lie. Obviously. But when commanded to answer truthfully, they are bound by their word." He waves the paper in front of you, before slipping it into one of his pockets. "A demon - or even the demonically possessed - wouldn't be able to confirm that statement. They'd have had to go with the other option."

Other option? And the barkeep thought you spoke strangely, dear Reader. It's almost as if he knows-

"That I'm in a 'choose your own adventure' story?" Sam interrupts the narrator, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm painfully aware. But it's my only way to speak with you, you see. That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What do you mean?" you ask, feeling as if things are really starting to go off the rails. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Well," Sam says, giving you the look of a man who might enjoy bending your mind a little more, "do you want the long version or the short version?"