"The long and short of it is, something went terribly wrong. Some cross-dimensional convergence between Cyberspace and the Astral Plane. I'm not entirely sure I understand it, something to do with metadata and metaphysics. Anyway, turns out the ethernet cable was plugged into the literal ether, and through a convoluted turn of events I ended up here."

You raise a sceptical eyebrow.

"I'm an occult detective, not an IT technician!" he says. "So, during this cyber-convergence, I had a run-in with the Mailer Daemon. The problem is, we're in a digital dimension; it has unparalleled power here. I had to hide myself in this interactive story to try and buy myself some time, and reach out to someone. I'd kind of hoped Alice would get here first, but I guess you'll have to do. Will you help me?"

Saying that "you'll do" isn't the most encouraging thing to say. You hardly feel inclined to help someone who simply thinks "you'll do". You deserve to be respected better than "you'll do".

But you see little other option.

Literally. There's only a few options you can choose from in this story.

Typically, this time around one of those options isn't "Punch Sam".